Monday, December 06, 2010

Writings from the past

Going through boxes of old stuff at my parents house, I recently discovered some journals from my past. They were from the high school and early college days, an interesting time that makes for very amusing reading. My late teens and early twenties, as with many people, were a time full of angst and trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. It's when we first truly venture into the world. It's when questions, relationships, and adventures are new and intense, when so many things are analyzed and agonized over, when every experience feels so significant. Although these moments may not be meaningful in the same way they once were, there's still something special about them, special because of what it did mean once upon a time. Here is one entry that I came across...

February 2002
Adam called yesterday and startled me with an apology for not being the friend he should have been, for never thanking me and giving me the credit I deserved. It was the nicest and most honest apology I’ve ever gotten. I was so surprised by it, because I never thought it would occur to him—it actually never really occurred to me. But everything he said was just so special. It made me feel good and made me think, “Hey, maybe I’m a better person than I think I am. Maybe I can do and be better and deserve better and not have to settle for anything in life.” Because really, I don’t think about stuff like that most of the time. You just live your life, hoping that someone will see something special in you, see something more than you even see. And Adam did that a little for me. He always has. “You give and you give and you give—and you never asking for anything in return. And no one gives you the credit and respect you deserve.” All I wanted was for him to SEE me. And maybe he does now.

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